Editors Note: Although the term guy is used frequently in this jotting, the same can apply for gals as well. Remember if the shoe fits, wear it.
There is one day every year fantasy owners look forward to. No knucklehead it isn't Charch's first rankings of the season. It is draft day. What you are about to read may hit home (a little too close for some of you), it is a constant reminder for fantasy owners everywhere.
Don't Be That Guy!
The I'll pay my entry fee next week guy:
Look, there is nothing more frustrating from a commissioner standpoint than trying to chase down the owner in your league for money. This isn't going to turn into a promo for League Safe, but guys come on. The commish probably isn't getting reimbursed anything for his trouble and sending some guy to your house isn't an option. If you knew walking in that you would win and you wouldn't get paid until all the league funds were collected, you wouldn't be the last guy to pay.
The eat all the pizza and drink all the beer guy:
The first year you let it slide because maybe the guy just didn't have time to make a run to the liquor store to buy his own, and maybe he'll help out with the next pizza buy. But it happens again in year two…and again in year three. Stop drinking my beer and eating my pizza. You are not going to get the next round, because you don't have the foresight to bring your own. You my friend are officially cut off.
Draft the player who is out for the year guy:
You can see them coming a mile away. Guys that have done no research and walk into the draft with little more than a smile. No draft guide, no cheat sheet, no clue. You could probably throw in a discussion of the return of Priest Holmes and they would take him in the third round. Guys and gals, do your homework and have some sort of a game plan.
Draft a guy that has already been drafted guy:
If you are this guy, you have the mental capacity of a moth that continues to crash into the light. Really?!? Is it that difficult to take your pencil and cross a name off the list? The great part is that if you are that guy, you will go on a run where you will ask, ‘Has so and so been drafted yet?', ‘How about this guy?'. Don't waste my time!
I have six running backs on my team and didn't look at bye weeks guy:
In the history of draft follies, there are none better than the guy who doesn't pay attention to his own draft. The greatest "bad draft" story came about seven years ago when a guy (who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) took five running backs in the first six rounds of the draft. Not only did he have zero depth anywhere else, four of the players had the same bye week. The look on his face when he hit round seven and realized he had five (average at best) backs and nothing else on his roster was priceless.
The make fun of every pick guy:
In the interest of full disclosure, I might be this guy sometimes. I don't rip everyone's picks however…but am selective and aren't afraid to throw out a zinger once in a while. This guy is the life of the party (or so he thinks) and feels compelled to take a shot or two. You know the guy. Fred (fraud) Taylor is selected and immediately, you ask if his AARP card is included, or if you get his social security check.
The "You took my guy" guy:
Because you are the smartest guy in the room it is impossible for anyone else to have any draft sense. You surely let everyone in the room know by a ‘ohhhh' or ‘you took my guy'. Um no dummy, he's my guy now.
The Dave Hester auction guy:
'Yuuuupp!' The guy who while during your auction runs up the prices on a player he doesn't want in order to drain your cap. They are also the guy that will wait until the last possible second to jump in just to annoy you.